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Bête noire.

I believe our timidity of darkness was once bequeathed, passed on generation after generation after generation like nostalgia for the folk tales we rehearsed in front of our heirs on moonless nights till it became calcified deep down in our bones. It was often given the prospect of a monster that lived in our closets and under our beds, or wandered around in attics and basements when we were asleep, perceived as a excrescence that is as far on the opposite end of the definition of a man as possible. Each culture had its own envision of this mythology; the boogeyman, the gremlins, the ghouls, the basilisk, the headless horseman, and the list goes on. We have created the oddest anomaly; a melody out of tune, a petrifying titan to complete strangers by copying that singularity of blackness inside us. We just failed to see it.
I am not afraid of darkness, the absence of light is what really gets me. I'm afraid I won't be able to have feelings ever again. I'm afraid I won't be able to love someone that much. I'm afraid I will live the lie I have exhaustively archetyped and that I'll keep pretending I'm complacent with it. I'm afraid my writing will become my only immortal legacy after I pass away. I'm afraid the gates will forget my authority and that I will always be a placeless misfit. I'm afraid I will never get the chance to write about the almosts I could never piece together, about forevers and nows and nevers, about the whats and hows and everything as such. I am afraid I will be nothing more than a humbug; a direct descendent of ineptitude. I'm afraid of the loneliness that creeps around every time someone leaves. I'm afraid whenever I'm at a diner by my own staring at that empty chair next to me because I ... love mutiples. I'm afraid when I see a flower hanging low because I know time is one hell of a thief.
It's this inexplicable feeling that moves us. Fear has always been the ultimate motivator, if you ask me. And it's through this darkness that we realise we have got lightness all along, we have tried at something bigger but it got broken and tossed into infinity. So, may your candle shine a full half hour before the devil knows you are dead.

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