لقد خَالطتُ الكَثيرَ مِن الأصدقاءِ في حيواتٍ شتي، حَاربت مِن أجلِ القليل وخَسرتُ آخرينَ بمرورِ السِنين. والغريبُ في الأمرّ هو أنني افتَقد الطَريقَ وليس الرفيق. أزور مَنزِلنا القَديم من وقتٍ لآخر حيث تُهاجمني ذِكرياتُنا سويًا، فعلي هذا الجدارِ كُنا نَكتُب ونُرسم بأعوادِ الطباشيرِ المُلونة، كُنا نتسَلقُ هذه الشجرةَ وتلك كمَجموعَة مِن القردةِ العابثةِ. أتتَذكرُ هذا الرواقَ الضيق الذي اعتَدنا دومًا أن نَحسم فِيه سِباقَاتنا يا صديقي؟ هُنا بالتحديدِ كُنا نلعُب بالكرة، تشَاجرنا كثيرًا ولكن في النهايةِ كُنا دائمًا وأبدًا ما نَهتدي لطريقنا مِن جديد. كُنا حتمًا بلهاءَ لنُؤمِن بأَن هذِه الصداقةَ ستدوم للأبد. كُنا صغارًا نجهَل ما ستفعلُه بِنا الحياةُ. أصبَحت حيواتُنا كالجُحيمِ وقد غَيرت الأيامُ قلوبَنا فأصبحت كالحِجارة أو أشد قسوة. أنا آسفُ، لم أجد طَريقنا هذه المرة وعَجزت عن المسامحةِ. ولكني وجدتُ أصدقاء جدد؛ أولئك الذين وقَفُوا بجانبِي عندنا غَادرت.
It is hard enough being an anxious introvert with the engrossment of all the ardent feelings in being friends with somebody which people often misinterpret as basic selectivity of whom gets to be in the small aura I keep around. But sometimes, the only thing you need is not for the magnanimity of loneliness to come crashing down your heart at midday when you are sitting in a cohort of pals. I believed I chose my friends for a reason. That reason was that I've always looked up to them and wished to develop into who they are one day. They have this quality that belong on them. You can easily distinguish their prudence, their robustness, their quintessentiality, their absurdness, their sense of substance, class and correctness. They imprint their good influence on you by always retaining you in check and that's something I unfathomably aspire about them.
Yet, sometimes when we hit rock bottm we need extra. A mere companion perhaps who is both passionate and habitual enough to text us "Good morning" every other day and double text just to make sure we are okay. Someone who wants to listen to every teeny tiny detail we have with absolute readiness for acceptance and understanding. Even if they’re tedious .. or sad .. or vexatiously cutesy .. or even when we are so empty of words that you don't speak but you just know they are there. Maybe, they were just curious when they pressed the 'sign me up for your rubbish' button. That's why it hurts when they stop out of nowhere. And once again, you are back where you started; point zéro.
It is hard enough being an anxious introvert with the engrossment of all the ardent feelings in being friends with somebody which people often misinterpret as basic selectivity of whom gets to be in the small aura I keep around. But sometimes, the only thing you need is not for the magnanimity of loneliness to come crashing down your heart at midday when you are sitting in a cohort of pals. I believed I chose my friends for a reason. That reason was that I've always looked up to them and wished to develop into who they are one day. They have this quality that belong on them. You can easily distinguish their prudence, their robustness, their quintessentiality, their absurdness, their sense of substance, class and correctness. They imprint their good influence on you by always retaining you in check and that's something I unfathomably aspire about them.
Yet, sometimes when we hit rock bottm we need extra. A mere companion perhaps who is both passionate and habitual enough to text us "Good morning" every other day and double text just to make sure we are okay. Someone who wants to listen to every teeny tiny detail we have with absolute readiness for acceptance and understanding. Even if they’re tedious .. or sad .. or vexatiously cutesy .. or even when we are so empty of words that you don't speak but you just know they are there. Maybe, they were just curious when they pressed the 'sign me up for your rubbish' button. That's why it hurts when they stop out of nowhere. And once again, you are back where you started; point zéro.
More than perfect this one ❤
ReplyDeleteYou have such discerning eyes .. thank you. 🌻
Delete(And sorry for my late reply.)