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أنا شَخصٌ سَئ ...

اعتَذِرُ لِكلِ صَديقٍ خَذلتُه ولِكلِ رَفِيقٍ تَخَليتُ عَنه فِي وقتِ احْتاجُني فِيه، اعْتُذرُ لِكلِ شَخصٍ أَذيتُه، لِكلِ شَخصِ حَاوَلَ التقربُ فصَدمُته عِبارَاتّي القَاسية وإِهْمالِي الغيرُ مُبرر. اعتَذِرُ عنْ كِل كِلَمةٍ جَافِيةٍ خَرجت مِن فَمي لتصِيبَ قلباً نَابِضاً فتَركَتُه مَيْتاً.  اعتَذِرُ عنْ كِل كِذبةٍ بْيضاء قُلتُها لتضَمد جَرحاً أو تطيبَ نَفساً فوجَدتُ صاحِبها يَذُوقُ مَرارة الألمِ. اعتَذرُ عَن مَواقِف مَرت ومَواقِف تَمنيتُ لو لم تمْر. اعتَذِرُ عنْ جَهلي ومُزاحِي العَابِثِ وحَمُاقاتِي اللامُتناهية. اعتَذرُ عنْ مَشاعرٍ خَاطِئة وعنْ مَحبةٍ كَاذبة وعن أمِلٍ زائِف.
لمْ أمتَلِك يوماً الشَجاعةَ الكَافية للمُواجهة، ولكِني خُضتُ الكَثيرَ مِن المَعاركِ .. حَاربتُ ضَاحِكاً وقَتلتُ بِدمٍ بَارِدٍ وفِي النِهاية خَسِرتُ وسَقطت طَرِيحاً عَلي أَرضٍ مُلطخةٍ بِدماء لا أَدري لِمن تَعود. والآنْ لا أَقدِرُ عَلي المُتابعةِ؛ جَسَدي عَليلٌ وقَلبِي مُحطمٌ وعَقلِي سَقيمٌ ونَفسِي تَعِبةٌ. أنَا أَرفعُ رَايةَ الاستسلَامِ.
لا أَعرفُ منْ أَنا ... أَصبحتُ وَحِيداً ... أصْبحتُ ما أَكره.
أَنا حقاً آسفٌ.

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