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Sunflowers in her eyes.

"Who did that to you? Who fucked you up so bad that you've completely shut down anyone who tries to help you. You don't want to embrace your feelings, you push kind people away. Who fucking did that to you? I am sorry you loved someone so foolishly that they made you feel like you don't deserve them. I'm sorry they have made you believe that love is an awful thing that hurts."
-In one aspect, I don't think you should be, I want to believe that I fell in love with the prettiest girl of them all; She is smart, funny -she got that sense of humor that makes you laugh without offending anybody, she is beautiful, good looking, cute and on top of all of that she is humble and shy ...... [sigh]. I mean on a scale from one to ten, she would definitely score a quadrillion or even 10^80; the total number of particles in the universe, which is generally thought to be so large that our language doesn't have an agreed upon word for it. She's got that X factor that no terms can even begin to describe. And you know what is really unfortunate; It is that you are trying to keep your little conversations intellectual; you talk about music, art, books, movies or other interests you might have in common when all you want to do is to acknowledge the love you know she could never possibly mirror, you want to reveal to her how much you admire the way she walks, how her wide smile flips your whole world upside down, how you see the sunflowers in her eyes fading away whenever she is trying to avoid you, how her laugh rattles the cosmos or how her body dances with her sweet voice every time she speaks.
I believe in big love because I’ve had it. I’ve had that overwhelming love. The one 'that doesn't exist in the physical realm of this planet' kind of love; the one that revived my cold heart after it has been arrested for so long. That kind of love that outlives, outgrows, outweighs my sorrow even though they are both rooted from the same seed; all intertwined and locking themselves in each others' grasp, no room for separation. And despite the whirlwinds and the hurricanes trapped in my ribcage,  the thunders that echo inside my head or the storm creating caverns of confusion in my mind, I will never shut my heart off. I'll leave it to be tattooed with the hello I never got to say.

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